Rather than being merely instrumental, social networking sites have become increasingly integral to the ways in which young people experience themselves. A popular cultural narrative of superficiality has been promoted with regards to social media, with users often criticised for being fake and self-absorbed. Focussing upon Instagram and Snapchat this paper seeks to re-locate discussion, questioning the perceived conflict between virtuality and authenticity, as well as challenging the widespread view that social media only has the capacity to foster narcissism. Working from a philosophical, phenomenological perspective, this paper develops ideas of ‘self-reflection’ and a ‘reflected-self’ in order to offer answers to the question ‘Who am I?’. Building upon the notion of storytelling, the constructive gaze, and visual communication it argues that SNS offer a different way of engaging with the real vs fake debate. Rather than arguing that social media encourages narcissistic portrayals of a fake, superficial veneer of life, perhaps born out of insecurity, it suggests that status updates can play an important role in authentic self-formation during adolescence.