Smartphones, apps and a multitude of sensors have facilitated almost every imaginable activity not only being enacted and tracked on mobile media, but simultaneously being aggregated and analysed against existing data and norms to produce a wide array of dashboards and indicators of health, success, achievement and normality. Parenting can involve many highly anxious experiences, amplified even more so for brand new parents. In the months surrounding a newborn entering the world, parents and carers have an increasingly large array of devices and apps available to them, each promising to ease some of the anxieties of parenting by providing indicators the were seemingly indivisible before about the health, development and wellbeing of an infant. Wearables might track everything from heartrate to breathing, apps might provide an array of soothing sounds or initial words customised to specific developmental milestones or personal inputs, and in exchange the parents are almost always provided reassuring dashboards and indicators showing their child is recognisably well. Green indicators lights tracking ‘your child’s progress’ are always available, whether the parents are in the same room, or somewhere else entirely. Increasingly normalised cameras for cribs and caring often mean an infant is available as a streaming video feed to parents whenever they rely on the caring services of others. This chapter seeks to map some of the ways in which infancy has, in effect, been uploaded as part of these new parenting practices, mapping both the new opportunities and reassurances which are available, but also looking at the sometimes unintended exchanges of a child’s data and privacy as app and device makers claim ownership of various forms of infant and child information. To map present and future concerns, this chapter will combine a detailed reading of several popular parenting apps and infant wearables with a reading of the 2017 ‘Arkangel’ episode of the dystopian near-future Black Mirror series to extrapolate the potentially quite negative future impact of such information extraction on both children as they grow, and the relationship between parents and children.